The Adventures of Ahri, Convenience Store Clerk (Ahri gets a dayjob)
by Dregenfox
Summary: updated 4/08! Episode 6 is now posted. A lighthearted, anime-styled series about the situations that happen when Ahri gets a job as a convenience store clerk. It is meant to be tongue-in-cheek. Updated in an episodic format, so feel free to offer suggestions! Credits to CuteAiko0 for the awesome pic!
1. Episode 1

Really? You didn't know? Every LOL champ has to have a dayjob. Killing random people in the fields of Justice just doesn't pay the bills like it used to, you know?

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_Before we begin...I would like to thank Riot for creating such a wonderful game and universe populated by such amazing characters. I hope you will enjoy my humorous interpretation of the incredible world of Runeterra!_

**Episode 1**

The giant flaming bear walked through the double sliding doors of LOLmart, and headed over to the counter.

"EXCUSE ME. I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW WHICH AISLE THE BEER IS STORED IN."

Ahri didn't bother to look up from the magazine she was reading.

"All the beers are in the back of the store," she said nonchalanty.

"THANK YOU VERY MUCH."

The flaming bear walked uncomfortably down one of the aisles and headed down to the back wall of LOLmart. It looked over at the sparse selection of beers, and seemed unsure of what to pick. For a few moments, the bear seemed to stare off into space, as if it were holding some sort of imaginary communication with someone. The bear nodded to no one in particular, then proceeded to pick up a bottle decorated with a red label that read "BUDWEISER". The bear proceeded to walk back to the counter.

"I WOULD LIKE TO BUY THIS BOTTLE OF BEER PLEASE."

Ahri didn't look up, and continued to stare at the magazine. After a few moments she let out a bored sigh, then closed the magazine and put it to the side. She looked up at her customer, then raised an eyebrow as she realized that it was a giant flaming bear. They both stared at each other in silence for awhile, until Ahri finally realized what was going on and did a mental facepalm.

"I'm sorry sir, but League law explicitly states that I'm not allowed to sell beer to people if I know they are buying it for a minor."

"I DONT KNOW WHAT THE HELL YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT MAN. I'M A MOTHERFLIPPIN 8 FOOT TALL FLAMING SHADOW BEAR. DO YOU SERIOUSLY THINK SOME 15 YEAR OLD GIRL IS FORCING ME TO DO THIS AGAINST MY WILL OR SOMETHING?."

Ahri rolled her eyes. She didn't get paid enough to deal with this stuff.

"Listen hun, everyone knows there's only one person in the league that has a giant flaming bear as her pet. Go and tell Annie that she's gonna have to try a little bit harder if she wants to get drunk, ok?

"I DEMAND TO SPEAK TO THE MANAGER OF THIS ESTABLISHMENT."

"The manager isn't here, tibbers. I close the store on tuesdays. And in any case, i'm pretty sure even if he _were_ here he wouldnt sell to you and risk getting handed a class 1 misdemeanor. "

"THIS IS A PURE MOCKERY OF A STORE. BEFORE I STORM OUT ANGRILY, I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT I PLAN TO WRITE A LETTER OF COMPLAINT AND SEND IT DIRECTLY TO THE CEO OF LOLMART CORPORATION. HAVE FUN GETTING "FIRED". AND YES THAT PUN WAS INTENDED."

Tibbers set the bottle down on the counter. Ahri watched passively as the bear spun around, made a rude gesture at her, then marched out indignantly. Ahri shook her head at the sad display.

"Oh lord, gimme a break. A written letter of complaint sent directly to the ceo? Everyone in League knows Corporate Mundo doesn't know how to read."

Ahri stole a quick glance at the clock, let out another bored sigh, then picked up her copy of _Cosmopolitan_ and went back to skimming it's pages.

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**This story isn't finished! Click next to check out episode 2, which introduces yet another brand new character!**


	2. Episode 2

**Episode 2**

Veigar walked into the LOLmart and gave the store a quick look-over. He noticed the dirty, greasy floor over by the fast food station, and frowned disapprovingly as he discerend what seemed like little bits of old sausage chili scattered over the floor and counter of the station. In fact, looking around at the entire store, he realized the whole store was kind of in a mess.

He walked over to the counter, where he saw Ahri stooped over in a state of extreme concentration, staring intently at the fur of one of her soft little fox tails and brushing the hairs one way, then the other way, occasionally blowing it with a quick little spurt of air from her mouth.

"Hey Ahri."

Ahri recognized the voice of her general manager, and glanced up casually at her boss. Or rather, down.

"Heya Veigy."

Veigar winced slightly at hearing that nickname.

"You know, seeing as I AM the manager of this store, I really think it's employees should refer to me by a title. I've been thinking it over, and I've decided that from now on my new title should be Dark Overlord of Evil, His Highness, The Malevolent Veigar. So I'd appreciate it if you'd stop calling me Veigy and refer to me proper- ...Ahri, are you listening?"

"Of course Veigy, I'm always listening! You can count on me."

Veigar closed his eyes and rubbed his temples slowly. He was starting to get a headache.

"...Anyway, Ahri, this store is just a mess. I was kind of hoping that a certain...ahhh..."industrious" employee would take it upon themselves to mop and sweep the floors sometime."

Ahri reached forward and yanked out a peice of stray fur that had been sticking out from her tail.

"Well you know what they say, Veigy. Hoping and praying for stuff doesn't make it happen. You gotta go out and actually do it. I think the broom is somewhere over by the health bars aisle, and the mop should be somewhere closeby, though I think it's handle went missing a couple months ago." Ahri looked up at Veigar with the most touching, sincere expression on her face. "I swear I have no idea how that happened."

Veigar looked at Ahri and narrowed his eyes in consternation.

"Umm, that was kind of my hint telling YOU to go and clean the store up. Last I checked, you were the employee, and I was the manager."

Ahri pouted, her face a picture of sorrow, and her little fox ears drooped down slightly.

"I'd love to Veigy...I'm always trying to be a good worker, but I just can't. It's not in my contract."

"Contract? What contract?"

"The contract every employee is implicitly bound to when they get hired, of course. Mine says that I'm to be a "store clerk", and that means I'm responsible ONLY for manning the register, greeting customers, and tending to the counter."

"Why haven't I ever heard anything like this before? Where do you dig this stuff up? ...you know what, nevermind, I'm the damn boss, I'm just gonna go and hire a janitor."

Ahri perked up and graced Veigar with a sweet little smile.

"There you go, Veigy. You learn really quick for a yordle!"

Veigar closed his eyes and rubbed his temples again. The headache was getting worse.

"I'm gonna head into my office. I've just got a huge pile of paperwork due tomorrow morning. Try not to let the store burn down while I'm not looking, ok?"

Ahri didn't respond. She had gone back to staring intently at another of her many tails, combing it this way and that with her fingers.

Veigar turned and walked towards the back of the store. As he walked, he mumbled quietly to himself.

"Sometimes I wonder if God just hates me or something. I kind of figured I'd be in a higher position of power by now, y'know? Like I'd be leading an army of darkness and subjugating entire cities and stuff. God, I just hate my life sometimes. And to top it all off I've got a league match at 6:00 am tomorrow morning..."

Veigar went up to a red door with a label affixed to it which said "Managerial Office", opened it, then dissapeared into his office, letting the door shut itself loudly behind him.

-


	3. Episode 3

**Episode 3**

Ahri was on all fours, crawling slowly through the grass that decorated a small patch of ground leading up to LOLmart. She slowly crept up to the corner of the store, and looked around it, darting her eyes left and right quickly, checking her surroundings to see if the coast was clear. Seeing no one, she quickly sneaked up to one of the windows outside the convenience store. She peeked in carefully, checking to see if any lights were on. They weren't.

_Good...hehehe...looks like Veigy decided not to check in on the store today. He'd be so pissed if he found out I opened the store 5 hours late!_

She sneaked over to the entrance, and went up to the alphanumeric keypad. She started punching in her personal keycode: B, zero, zero, B, S.

The keypad beeped in confirmation, and she heard a loud clicking sound. The double doors slid open. Ahri rushed inside and flipped open the light switch. The florescent bulbs flickered, then bathed the store in a flood of white light.

She gingerly made her way through the store, stepped in behind the counter, then pounced into her chair. She breathed in slowly, then let out a big sigh of relief.

"I'm so sneaky..." Ahri mumbled to herself happily. She started reaching for a magazine to pull out from under the counter, but suddenly froze. A strange scent...she sniffed the air, and caught a scent of something vaguely familiar...she tried to remember what it was.

She looked around, her amber-colored eyes slightly glazed over, then suddenly came to, and shot straight up, and realized what it was.

There was some sort of rodent hiding in the store!

Ahri leaped up onto the counter, knocking over the wire display filled with Slim Jims in the process. Landing gracefully onto the floor, she scanned the store slowly. The smell seemed to be coming from the snack foods aisle to her right. She hopped over to the aisles stocked full of chips, cheese nips, and other tasty snacks, and searched the area carefully, making sure to check the tiny spaces under the shelves.

Nothing!

But it had to be here! The smell was coming from literally right next to her!

Ahri's ears picked up the sound of a body brushing past a cardboard box.

Without thinking, Ahri whirled around and pounced at the empty air behind her. A giant, mouse-like rodent appeared into view suddenly from out of thin air, and both Ahri and the creature tumbled to the ground.

Ahri let out a quiet but surprised growl, rose up on top of the rodent, and repeatedly pawed her hands at the creature ferociously, but ineffectively. The huge rat had it's eyes shut in fear, struggled frantically, then cried out.

"Oh dear God! I'm gonna die! Someone help me! Make it stop! Please make it stop!"

The rat opened an eye to get a look at his murderer, and saw a pretty young lady with two dog ears and silky black hair with a faint hue of blue, her legs mounted over his body, repeatedly pawing at him.

"Actually, on second thought, please continue."

Ahri stopped and stared at the creature, a quizzical look in her eyes.

"A talking mouse?"

"A talking dog?"

"But I'm magical."

"And you think a talking mouse isn't?"

"And I'm not a dog! I'm a fox! There's a difference!"

"Technically I'm not a mouse either, I'm a rat."

"How did something as big as you manage to sneak in here anyway?"

"Through the chimney, duh."

Ahri looked up, slightly curious. She saw the random vent with the grate hanging open, which led up to what she supposed was an actual chimney. Come to think of it, she did remember seeing a red brick chimney on the roof of the store.

"Hmmm, how weird! But we don't have a fireplace, and the food station only has a microwave. What do we need a chimney for?"

The rat looked at Ahri and shrugged.

"Uh, sorry, I got nothin'."

Ahri looked back down and pinned the rat back onto the floor with her hands.

"Seriously though! What are you doing here? You can't be a customer, the store was closed all day!"

"Well, umm...I was hungry...no one was willing to hire me, and the League literally pays us in peanuts now, and I'm allergic to peanuts. I just wanted something to eat..."

Ahri released her hands from the rat, and got up. She bent down and extended a hand, and helped the rat up also.

"Why didn't you just say so? We have so much food at the food station! Follow me."

Ahri led the rat over to the food station, and sat him down on a small round table. She picked a jumbo cup from the cup dispenser and motioned to the rat.

"What kinda drink do you want?"

The rat seemed a bit doubtful.

"Hmmm, well I'm kinda in the mood for cherry coke I guess."

"Cherry coke! That's my favorite!"

Ahri filled the cup up with the sugary drink, then got another jumbo and filled it up with the same dark-colored soda. She set the drinks down on the table, then walked quickly over to the snacks aisle. She came back lugging a large box of Cheese nips.

The rat looked on in silence as he watched Ahri open the box, and pour it's entire contents out onto the table. A few of the crackers spilled onto the floor. Ahri sat down across from the rat, and started munching on cheese nips while taking occasional sips out of her Cherry coke.

"MMM, yummy! Cheese nips with cherry coke is just sooo good!"

The rat picked up a cheese nip, tossed it into his mouth, then took a sip from his cup.

"Oh man, this is actually pretty tasty!"

The rat looked over at the fox-lady.

"My name is Twitch, by the way."

Ahri gulped down her food and then looked at Twitch.

"Finally, a name! I'm Ahri."

They looked at each other, and Ahri smiled at him genuinely. Twitch responded with a slight grin, then looked down and started eating more cheese nips.

They both sat there, eating and drinking occasionally from their cups of cherry coke. After a while Twitch spoke up.

"So why are you working in a place like this anyway? I've seen you before in a League match, and you seemed to be really popular with the fans. Someone like that would definitely get a top-end salary..."

Ahri clasped her hands over her heart, looked down at the floor, then looked at Twitch with sad, melodramatic eyes.

"Well...yes, it's true they pay decently...but the big ticket matches are so rare, and my deepest desire was to get a Porsche Coupe for my birthday, and I asked my parents, but they said they were only going to give me $5000 per month, and said I needed to get a job, and then they _savagely_thrust me out onto the treacherous streets to fend -"

A cheese nip flew out from across the table and struck Ahri right above her right eye.

"Owwww! Why did you do that?"

"Very funny Ahri. I'm not a _total_loser. But...it was a stupid question for me to ask anyway."

Ahri looked at Twitch, and then seemed to become crestfallen, and her pointy fox ears lowered slightly. Twitch started to think he had really offended his new friend, but then Ahri looked up and made as if she wanted to speak.

"It's just...I had a family, but it was so long ago...and then the league...? - No... I mean, I was alone...um...and...cheese nips...?"

Ahri's mind seemed to wander, and then she started to look confused, as if she had wanted to reveal more but kept getting interrupted by some errant thought.

"I'm so sorry Twitch...I'm an idiot...the only thing I can think of are those visions...as if someone is searching for me..."

It seemed as if Ahri wanted to say more, but she seemed utterly bewildered. Twitch felt like he had to do something before she completely succumbed to her thoughts. He grabbed the table, and shook it.

"HEY! Ahri...!"

Ahri's eyes started to glaze over, and Twitch began to feel a tinge of panic.

"Ahri...It was a silly question..! I didn't mean to get so personal...I only asked because I've been homeless for so long and had such a hard time finding a job, the League just pays jack to unpopular champs like me, and you just seemed to have it all..."

Ahri seemed to finally get a grip of her surroundings. She looked around at her surroundings, and then suddenly grinned neatly at Twitch, acting as if nothing had happened.

"Twitch...if you need a home...you can stay here! I don't mind at all, and it's got food and shelter, and everything you could possibly need...and...you can turn invisible right? I saw it earlier, if my manager ever comes all you'd have to do is go invisible and he'd never know!"

Ahri paused a bit to consider something.

"And I think yordles have a bad sense of smell, right? He didn't seem to notice when I accidently left the milk shipment out overnight next to the heater and had to pour it all down the drain...he was just happy I sold so much milk in one day..."

Twitch looked at Ahri carefully, checking to see if she was still in that trance. She did not seem to remember what had just happened, or perhaps, Twitch thought to himself, she had ignored it on purpose. He looked around at the store, thinking to himself, then looked back at Ahri.

"Ahh well...It would really be nice not to have to sleep outside or in a sewer for once...I'll only stay until I can find a job and get a home for myself."

Ahri smiled and seemed to brighten up. She picked up another cheese nip and munched on it happily.

"Well I'm glad...it's just not fair for anyone to have to be all alone out there..."

Twitch and Ahri both sipped from their cups of Cherry coke, and munched on the cheese nips together. Twitch thought about his lonely and confused nights he spent in the sewers of Zaun, unsure of how he came to be and what his purpose was. He fought in the league to advance the interests of the mighty state of Zaun, but he had never truly felt he belonged there, so he traveled the world instead, wandering to wherever the paths would take him. But here, in this little chain convenience store located in it's own little corner of the world, Twitch finally felt like he was home.


	4. Episode 4

**Episode 4**

"What do you think he does all day in there?"

Ahri had her ears pinned against the red door located near the back of the store, listening intently for any sort of sound or voice that might come from within. The door had only a lone, solitary window and a brand new label below which simply read: _Manager's Office. Do Not Disturb. Yes Ahri, This Means You._

"How should I know? You're the one standing there with your ears against the door," Twitch said nonchalantly.

"I have an idea...Twitch, come up and take a peek through the window," Ahri whispered quietly. She motioned silently for Twitch to move up to the door. "Use your invisibility so he won't notice anything. Hurry up!"

Twitch slowly faded out of view, and then moved up to the red door and gazed inside the window.

"So what do you see? What's he doing in there?"

Twitch rose up, trying to get a better view inside the office.

"Um...he seems to be...I think he's crying! He's just sitting in his chair crying..."

Ahri nudged Twitch with the point of her index finger.

"Well go in and comfort him then! He must be feeling really lonely in there."

"Dude, I'm not going in there...he doesn't even know I exist! Besides...what do you think a crying man needs most?"

"...huh? What he needs most?"

"Boobs, Ahri. When a man breaks down and cries, that's his desperate mating call telling the world he needs Boobs."

Twitch felt a large object impact suddenly against his skull, and the world turned into a whirling blur. He felt hands dragging him somewhere, and heard the sound of a door opening. Vaugely he noticed the painful nudge of a foot shoving him through a doorway, and then the clatter of a door slamming shut behind him. He slowly came to his senses, and tried to get a bearing on his surroundings.

He was inside Veigar's office, and the aforementioned yordle was sitting behind his desk, staring sorrowfully up into the ceiling, looking dejected and uttering nonsense.

"Ohhhh God...I'm such a failure! I try so hard to be merciless and evil, and the only response I get is laughter and ridicule! Have I not burned and sundered the bushes in my neighbor's backyard? Did I not make his 2-year old daughter tremble in fear? Do houseflys not flee in terror when they sense my prescence? And then to add insult to injury the league doesn't even want me as AP mid anymore! They're replacing me with those stupid Black Cleaver-wielding AD buffoons!"

Veigar took out a wet towel from his pocket, and blew into it with his nose. Twitch thought the display was so pathetic, that he decided to go and try to comfort the sad yordle. Veigar continued to ramble on, not seeming to notice the rat standing beside him.

"Maybe I should just call down a meteor of dark matter and end it all...would anyone even care?"

"Umm...don't say that Veigar, life is hard for everyone!"

"Life is hard? What a joke! Some champions just have it all!"

"I know," Twitch exclaimed mournfully. "I was born with nothing, and everyone thought I was just some crazy talking rat..."

"Oh why did I have to be born into this sad yordle body? Why God?"

The yordle and the rat started wailing sadly together, and then they faced each other, and started moving in for a hug, each trying to comfort the other, when Veigar suddenly stopped and stared at Twitch, a slightly horrified expression evident on his face.

"What the hell is this? Am I seriously being comforted by a giant mutant rat? "

Twitch started waving his hands magically in the air in front of him, and he started to fade slowly out of vision.

"Thissss...is all a dream Veigar...none of this is real...echo...echo...echo..."

Veigar saw the rat dissapear from sight. He closed his eyes and rubbed his temples slowly. There was only one explanation for this.

"AHRI. I KNOW YOU'RE OUT THERE! I WANT YOU IN MY OFFICE. NOW!"

The red door seemed to open ever so slowly, and Ahri came in cautiously, hands clasped together as if begging for forgiveness. She walked up to Veigar, dropped to her knees, made an exaggerated bow, and then spoke to Veigar in a dutiful tone. The entire scene had an air of facetiousness.

"Oh Dark Overlord of Evil, your Highness Veigar...why have you summoned this lowly fox into your court?"

Veigar lowered his head and moaned audibly in annoyance. He felt an incoming headache, looked back up at Ahri, and breathed in slowly.

"..Ahri, why is there a giant rat in this store? Can you please, for the love of god, explain this in a way so that I won't want to shoot myself in the face later?"

Ahri stayed motionless, with her face lowered and staring at the floor.

"Yes, your malevolence. I only wish to please your highness. This lowly fox found the aforementioned creature in the store, homeless and hungry, and this fox, only wishing to swell the ranks of the Dark Overlord, permitted this mysterious creature to stay and prosper along with your empire."

Still on her knees, Ahri made a series of repeated, melodramatic bows, then looked up at the yordle earnestly.

"Please Veigy? He has nowhere to go, and he could help around with the store."

Veigar stared blankly at Ahri and sat there for awhile, almost in disbelief. After a while, Veigar let his hands drop down and sighed painfully.

"Fine, Ahri...ugh... we do need someone to organize the shelves and fill in when needed...but I'll only let him stay if he doesn't bother the customers and goes invisible when they're here."

"This humble fox thanks your Malevolence. Long live the Dark Overlord!"

Ahri bowed again in grateful reverence, stood up, then backed out slowly, facing the yordle the entire time, furiously swaying her arms up and down and bowing repeatedly. She crossed through the doorframe, arms still bowing furiously, and continued to stare down at the floor, then quickly closed the door shut.

Veigar sighed and looked down at his paperwork, still slightly soggy with tears. He didn't know why but he felt a little better.

"How am I gonna explain this if the health inspector finds out...sigh..someone just kill me, please..."

Outside, Ahri breathed a sigh of relief, then searched for Twitch. She saw him appear in front of her, and smiled at him.

"Hehehe...I can't believe we actually convinced Veigy to let you stay." Ahri said happily.

"Yeah...you somehow managed to cheer him up, Ahri. I thought I was screwed...he was talking about how he wished he could be more evil..."

Ahri's smile suddenly disappeared upon hearing that last word, and she stayed still for awhile. She looked back at Twitch with a slightly remorseful expression.

"Twitch...I'm sure you know how cruel this world can be...only humans have the concept of evil, so they live their lives not noticing it. But, animals are different..."

Ahri stopped, and looked down. After awhile, she look back up at Twitch sincerely.

"Part of the reason I spend so much time at this store...is because I don't sense any Evilness from Veigy...deep down I think he's a nice guy. Twitch...am I wrong?"

Twitch was half taken aback, surprised that his friend's normally happy demeanor had suddenly turned so dark.

"Um...well...all I know is that I've always had this sort of sixth sense and could always guess if someone was really evil...I think you have it too, and Ahri – I don't think you're wrong about Velgore...or uhh...whatever his name is."

Ahri looked up at Twitch, her face expressionless as if she had some troubling thought in her mind, and then she looked away, and started walking towards the front of the store.

Twitch watched Ahri as she slowly headed back towards the front counter. She didn't seem to want to talk anymore. Her demeanor reminded him of that time when they had first met, when she had talked about someone searching for her, and Twitch couldn't help but wonder just who this person could be, and why he or she would want to find her so much.

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**Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed this, the next episode will feature a very epic confrontation...and no, it's not what you think!**


	5. Episode 5, part 1

**Episode 5, part 1 - The game is about to change...**

Ahri watched curiously as the white hextech hover-truck pulled into one of the parking spaces in front of LoLmart. Big, black lettering on the side of the truck read: _MundoCorp – Spec Ops Division_, with Mundo's universal logo printed to the left of the letters. She saw the driver-side door open, and a solidly built man with short black hair and buzzed sideburns stepped out. He carried a fancy, golden manager's pen over his ear.

Another more slender man stepped out from the passenger side, this one wearing a black stetson cowboy hat that partially obscured his features. Long, flowing black hair and a shaped beard and goatee rounded out his appearance so that it resembled that of a classic card-dealing gunslinger. The two men went around to the front of the truck and conversed with each other for a moment, and then the larger man proceeded to walk towards the store entrance - he seemed to be the leader, and the slender man followed suit behind him.

As she watched the two men, Ahri remembered earlier how Veigar had told her it was imperative she be on her best behaviour today. Something big had happened in the complicated corporate environment of Valoran, and the hextech truck that stood outside had been the result of orders directly from Corporate Mundo himself. No doubt, Mundo had handpicked the persons who were now stepping out of the truck (actually, he probably just threw cleavers onto a dartboard with pictures of various subordinates on it), and Ahri felt her ears positively tingle with excitement as she thought about what possible intrigue all this might entail. Twitch had been asked to hide as he usually does when the store had company, and Veigar was standing nervously beside the counter in anticipation of their arrival.

Ahri watched the larger man as he entered through the sliding doors and walked up to the front counter of the store.

"Hey...he's pretty cute," Ahri whispered to herself.

Veigar motioned for Ahri to quiet down. "This is serious, Ahri!"

Ahri fixed her hair back slightly, then perked up her ears, clasped her hands together, and flashed her cutest smile at the two men as they walked up.

"Welcome to LoLmart #77! My name's Ahri -"

The larger man held up a hand, abruptly silencing her.

"We've already been briefed back at MundoCorp HQ. I'd rather we get down to business first, and save the small talk for later. For now, you can refer to me as Jayce, the regional manager for the central Valoran zone. My partner here is codenamed Twisted Fate, otherwise known as TF, chief agent of special operations." Jayce turned to Veigar. "Veigar, lets get this started. And bring the girl too."

"Yes sir...of course!" Veigar said, a tinge of nervousness in his voice.

Veigar motioned the two men over to the food station, and pulled out four chairs from one of the larger dining tables. Ahri started following behind the two men. She seemed to be a bit upset that Jayce had not even bothered to refer to her by name.

Jayce and TF sat down on one side the square table, and Ahri and Veigar sat down across from them. Beads of sweat could be seen forming on Veigar's forehead. He looked around and noticed the bits of old sausage chili and random cheese nips scattered over the floor, and gave Ahri a slight nudge.

"Psst, Ahri, where's Twitch? I thought I told him and you to clean this place up this morning," Veigar whispered. Ahri, trying her best to ignore Veigar, simply gave him a shrug.

Jayce stared at Veigar from across the table, and raised an eyebrow.

"Twitch? Who's this Twitch you're talking about?"

Veigar winced and turned his head to face Jayce.

"Umm, Twitch? I was just uh, wondering where my eye went. I mean where my twitch went. It twitches. Eye. Twitch."

Veigar pretended to twitch his right eye, and pointed to it, giggling nervously.

"See! There it is! Good old eye twitch!"

Jayce stared at Veigar coldly for awhile, then rapped his knuckles on the table calmly.

"Ok, then. Before we start, I just want to state that this store you run is shockingly filthy, and I will be filing an official demerit on your manager's record when we're done with all this."

Veigar's right eye started twitching for real.

Jayce sat back in his chair and seemed to relax slightly.

"Ok. Let's get down to business. As you know, store #77 is located right in the heart of the institute of War's Champion's villa, which gives it a reliable source of tourist income for whenever there's a match held here. What most don't know, however, is that the company that ends up controlling the stores within Champion's villa also ends up with a large amount of political influence within the institute of war itself, and that translates to both political and economic influence across all of Valoran. LoLmart 77, then, serves as MundoCorp's official and only foothold into the institute, which is why it's imperative that it does well so we can convince the League to give MundoCorp a general development permit for this area."

Jayce motioned to his partner, and TF took out a hextech holographer from his coat pocket, and placed it on the desk. It emitted a large, holographic map of Valoran on the screen, along with a picture of a spectacled yordle with a massive brain, with text below that read: **Heimerdinger, President of Darkplum Technologies, Inc**. Beside the text was a company logo of a black plum that looked like someone had taken a bite out of it. TF looked at both Ahri and Veigar, then proceeded to speak with a smooth, laid back cajun drawl.

"Now, here's where things get tricky. As y'all know, Darkplum Inc is the only other corporation big enough to challenge MundoCorp both economically and politically, and my agents within Darkplum HQ have come back with some disturbing news."

The hextech holograph switched images to a map of the inside of Champion's villa. In the center stood a massive spectator's arena that enclosed a field of justice, with multiple residences, stores, and other facilities surrounding the arena that roughly combined to create a small but growing city.

"Darkplum Inc has recently received a conditional permit to erect one of their Plum retail stores within Champion's villa. Now, I 'reckon none of us are stupid, and we know they don't plan to stop at just one store. Their ultimate goal is to win the right to develop Champion's villa as they please. If they can win the institute over, then that means they gain the political influence necessary to oust MundoCorp and make sure they never do business within Valoran ever again."

The hologram changed again, this time to a picture of a yordle covered with blue fur. He was sitting atop a massive weaponized mech, replete with dangerous weapons like flamethrowers, stun rods, and shield generators. Below was the plum logo and text which read: **Rumble, Chief Annexation Officer, Darkplum Technologies, Inc**.

"Now whadda ya'll reckon is the easiest way to win the exclusive development permit? Why, eliminating the competition, of course. My spies have good info direct from Heimer's mouth saying Rumble is on his way here now, _as we speak_, to LoLmart, along with a small band of hired mercenaries, in order to forcefully take over this store, and annex it into Darkplum inc."

The hextech holographer turned off with a slight click, and TF placed the emitter back into his coat pocket. Jayce stood up from his chair, and faced the rest of the group.

"We've been sent here as an advance guard, both to put a stop to this annexation attempt, and to oversee further expansion of this store into a MundoMart, so that it's big enough to compete with one of Darkplum's retail Plum stores.

Jayce looked at Ahri and Veigar to make sure they were comprehending everything. Ahri smiled and and started applauding happily.

"That was such an awesome presentation, Jayce and TF! I wish I was as good as you guys!"

Jayce stole a quick glance at Veigar, who was now attempting to slide under the table to hide himself. Jayce cleared his throat, then motioned for silence. He took out a hextech tele-device from his pocket.

"Ahem. I'm not quite done yet. Now, in order to fend off Darkplum's annexation attempt, we have in the back of our truck an advanced robotic security guard, one of the latest new technologies from Mundo's new robotics division. With a press of this button, the truck's teleporter device will warp the robot into our store."

TF groaned loudly after hearing Jayce utter the word "Mundo" and "robotics".

"Seriously Jayce? That's what we've been transporting this entire trip? You realize MundoCorp's robotics division is the laughing stock of the entire corporate world?"

"Shut up TF. Mundo demanded we take the robot out for field duty. It's out of my hands," Jayce whispered. He pressed the button on his remote, and a blue beam appeared within the store. After it dissapated, it revealed a dingy, yellow robot with huge hands and steam coming out of it's back. It emitted a slow, monotone robotic voice.

"BLITZCRANK AUTOMATED DEFENSE SYSTEM ACTIVATED. HELLO WORLD. I AM NOW GOING TO START THE MACARENA. PLEASE DANCE WITH ME HUMAN MASTERS. I AM ALSO PROGRAMMED WITH THE ATL STOMP, CRIP WALK, AND GANGNAM DANCE STYLES."

The robot started shaking it's hips and flipping it's hands in an imitation of the macarena dance. TF groaned again in disgust.

"Goddamit, we're so screwed. Mundo seriously needs to let spec-ocs make the on-field management decisions."

The sound of a large explosion suddenly boomed across the store, and the double sliding doors blocking the entrance to the store shattered violently. A giant mech with a small yordle sitting atop it walked in, followed by two men, one wielding a brutal-looking axe, and another spinning an oddly shaped whirling axe in both hands. Another shorter but grizzled looking man holding a shotgun and wearing sunglasses stepped in from behind. He raised his gun into the air and let off a wild shotgun blast.

"Awww yeah! Black Doom mercenary company here. Sorry, but this is the end of the line for you folks."

The mechanized yordle laughed at the grizzled man's exclamation, then rose up haughtily and introduced himself.

"Rumble, chief annexation officer for Darkplum Inc. On behalf of our great CEO Heimerdinger, I hereby claim this store as the new property of Darkplum Technologies, Inc!"

TF rose suddenly from his chair, sending it tumbling onto the floor. He looked at the grizzled shotgun wielding man with disgust.

"Why if it isn't old Malcolm Graves. Couldn't cut it in Mundo's spec ops divison, so now you're runnin' a sad little mercenary company, eh?"

Jayce turned to face the intruders. He grabbed his pen from his ear, then looked back towards TF, Ahri, and Veigar.

"Damnit! They're here early. TF, Ahri, Veigar, get ready, we are NOT going to let them take over this property!"

**to be continued in Episode 5, part 2...things are about to get nasty!**


	6. Episode 5, part 2

**Episode 5, part 2 **

**#This episode contains mildly descriptive scenes suggesting "feisty" yordle mating behavior. Viewer discretion is advised#**

Rumble stepped forward, looked across the room, and laughed maniacally.

"And just how are you going to stop us from taking this store over, Jayce? Just my mech alone can beat all of you combined!"

Rumble paused for a second, then reached into his cockpit to press a button. "How rude of me! Before we begin, I forgot that Heimerdinger had a personal message for you guys straight from Darkplum HQ!" A light started blinking on his mech, and it emitted a transparent blue holo-screen into the space in front of him.

Jayce, Ahri, TF, and Veigar all looked towards the screen. It flashed, and then the holo-screen focused itself, revealing a large, lavish-looking room with chandeliers and luscious red carpeting. Laying sprawled on the floor was a female yordle sporting pigtails and dressed in sexy lingerie, looking like a coked up smurf prostitute. She had her legs spread open beside a ladder encrusted with diamonds and gold foil, and on top of the ladder stood Heimer, who was looking down at the female yordle and saying something to her, while cocking his legs and preparing to jump down on her. There was a crackle of audio.

"Hee hee hooo! Poppy my love, I'm craving for some more sweet nectar!"

"Ohh Heimy, my sweet little boo boo bear! My honey jar is open and ready!"

Rumble cleared his throat, then spoke meekly into a mic in his cockpit.

"Excuse me Mr. Heimer. I'm sorry to bother you, but didn't you tell me you wanted to say something to the LOLmart employees via the holo-communicator before we took it over?"

Back inside the holo-screen, Heimer looked up, appeared to stare outwards from the screen, then smiled and casually looked towards where Jayce was standing.

"Oh dear, what do we have here? Jayce? After we take over your store, please kindly go back to Mundo and tell him to stay away from the Institute. It's ours, got it? I've already sent a team to start building a new retail Plum super-store across the street, and there's nothing you can do to stop it. Now, Rumble, hurry up and finish your job, I have important business to get back to!"

Heimer looked back down at Poppy, bent down slightly, then leaped off the ladder into a belly flop, his body accelerating towards where Poppy was laying spread eagle. Back in the store, Rumble frantically reached into his cockpit and mashed some buttons, and the holo-screen dissappeared.

Ahri stole a quick glance at Veigar, with a slightly horrified expression on her face.

"...Heimy? I'm never going to use "Veigy" the same way, ever again..."

Jayce shook himself, trying to clear his mind from what he just saw, and growled angrily.

"Enough of this! I have NO CLUE what I just witnessed, but if Heimer wants to send Mundo a message, he can do it himself! It's time to end this!"

Jayce flipped his golden pen into the air. The pen flew upward and, as it reached the apex of it's ascent, suspended itself and started spinning in the air. Sparks began to fly out from it in all directions, and it began emitting sounds of electric discharges and tiny whirring gears. In a flash of light, the pen suddenly enlarged and took the shape of massive hammer. In one swift and impressive motion, Jayce somersaulted into the air, grabbed the handle and, still somersaulting, landed onto the ground, smashing the hammer into the earth with a thunderous blow.

"Time to make a stand! Ahri and Veigar, support me from behind, TF, let's do this!"

On the other side, Darius took a step forward and brandished his axe menacingly while his brother started whirling both axes and laughing maniacally.

TF smirked at the display, took one step back, reached into his coat pocket, and took out a deck of cards. He looked down at the cards, then over to the two axe-wielding maniacs, then back at the cards, then finally looked over at Jayce.

"Ok Jayce. In all seriousness, I asked Mundo for a Hextech rifle, and he gave me this pack of cards instead, mumbling something about a recession and cutbacks. WTF does he expect me to do with a pack of cards-"

Darius slammed his giant axe down right beside where TF was standing, and TF barely dodged to the side in response. Twirling around, he brought his leg up and shot out a swift roundhouse kick straight into Darius's face. The man stumbled back, stunned momentarily. TF took out a card from the top of the deck, and aimed it at Darius' head.

"God, I'm so screwed," TF mumbled to himself, as he readied the card, then threw it at Darius. The card sliced through the air, pinged Darius in the forehead, then flopped and floated harmlessly to the ground and came to rest beside his feet. TF groaned. Darius looked down at the card, then burst out laughing.

"Ah, hahaha! Playing cards? Is this supposed to be a jo-"

A massive explosion of mana suddenly erupted from below Darius, and sent him flying through the store. He landed on his back, half conscious, his body covered with mana burns.

TF stared at the broken body of Darius, then looked down at the deck of playing cards in shock.

"Seriously Jayce? These cards explode? And you've been letting me play poker with 'em?"

Jayce shrugged. "I've been meaning to tell you, but it never came up."

Draven stepped forward, then threw an axe that flew through the air and landed with a thud between the two men.

"You're gonna pay dearly for that, Jayce and TF. Don't think I'm gonna fall for your tricks as easily as my idiot brother! Get ready for Draaaaaaven!"

Draven took out another axe and, whirling both simultaneously to form a tornado of spinning axes, dashed forward and engaged Jayce and TF, locking the three of them into a mortal combat of whirling death and destruction.

From behind the main fight, Ahri and Veigar watched as Jayce and TF struggled against the mass of spinning blades. Seeing an opportunity, Ahri began to focus her mind, and twirled her hands, summoning three tiny fox-fires that began to circle around her. As she was about to release them at Draven, there was a sudden click of a gun being cocked, a blur of something brown, and Graves appeared right before Veigar. The yordle cried out in surprise and attempted to ready a spell, but was quickly dispatched by a rapid uppercut to the face with the butt of Grave's shotgun, knocking him out cold. Before Ahri could react, Graves swiftly dashed up towards her in one fluid motion, and she realized that Graves was now behind her and about to bring his gun up to fire a volley into the defenseless fox-girl.

_I didn't expect him to be so fast! ...But he underestimates my speed as well!_

Ahri whipped her nine tails around in a twirling motion, leaped upwards and, using the momentum of her tails and a surge of magical energy, flew upwards and over Graves in an awe-inspiring display of agility, flipping around and landing a short distance behind the man, using her tails skillfully to control her landing. At the same time, Graves had unleashed a volley of bursts from his triple barreled shotgun into the space Ahri had occupied seconds ago.

Ahri saw her opportunity, and fired her three fox-fires directly at Graves. Sensing immediate danger from behind him, the grizzled veteran spun around while whipping his heavy cloak around to cover his body, and blocked the fox fires with it. The fires impacted the heavy cloak and ignited it into flames, singing and charring his exposed flesh. With a grunt of pain, Graves unlatched his flaming cloak and threw it aside, then turned back to face Ahri. He grinned evilly. Ahri didn't flinch from his gaze, and instead she used this brief lapse in action to analyze the old man's tactics.

_I think I have him! ...He's fast, but can only maintain that speed in a straight line...I just have to be ready and react quickly to his dash..!_

"Not bad, missy, but I have decades of fighting experience over you, and you'll find that this old dog definitely still has some tricks up his sleeve!" Graves cocked his shotgun, and again dashed with blinding speed towards Ahri.

Even though she expected the dash, Ahri barely had time to react, and she desperately leaped to the side, landed, then swiftly turned around and fired off three fox-fires at where she thought Graves would be.

THUNK!

Ahri blacked out momentarily, and when she came to, the world was spinning, she was laying face-down on the ground, and her head was throbbing. She saw blood dripping down from her face and onto the floor, and felt the hard pressure of a boot and a cold metal barrel pinning her to the floor.

"I'm impressed! If times were better I woulda spared your life and tried to bring you in as one o' my mercenaries." Graves shook his head. "Lady, what a shame..."

Ahri struggled to get away – she felt like she was suffocating.

_...How did he anticipate all my moves? How? I'm so sorry everyone...!_

There was a slight disturbance in the air from behind Graves, and an arrow whizzed past his ear. Abruptly he whirled around and fired a quick blast from his shotgun at the empty air behind him. A voice cried out in pain, and two arrows flew out from nowhere and pierced Graves through his chest and thigh, forcing him to the ground and making him cry out in pain. Twitch materialized in front of the fallen Graves and doubled over as well, heavily wounded by shotgun shrapnel and bleeding from his abdomen.

A jarring explosion erupted all across the store, and Ahri managed to turn her head and watched hopelessly as Rumble fired off electrical hooks that struck TF, disabling him with shocks of powerful electricity. With TF down, Rumble moved in to try and finish off Jayce, who was now cornered and forced to fight off both Rumble and Draven by himself.

Ahri struggled onto her knees and started crawling towards Twitch. Her head was still throbbing, and the entire store seemed to be swaying back and forth in a dizzying motion. She found Twitch down on the ground and out cold, completely unresponsive. Not knowing what to do, and still slightly dazed, Ahri started crawling towards Jayce. She knew she had to do something - Jayce was outnumbered and wouldn't hold for long...but what could she do?

Still crawling desperately forward, Ahri suddenly brushed up against some cold, yellow steel. She looked up and saw Blitzcrank, who had now moved onto doing a robotic version of the Hawaiian luau. Ahri reached out and grabbed the robot's ankle. She was scared, but tried to remain calm and forced herself to hold back tears welling up inside her.

"Please...do something..."

The robot continued to dance, and Ahri laid her head down. A tear streamed down her face, and she thought about that time long ago, when she was still a fox desperately longing to be human. After all that happened, was this to be her ultimate fate?

As she laid there and started crying, Ahri felt something stir from within her soul, and she became aware of a tingling sensation that traveled down her arm and into her hand, which was still grasped around the robot's ankle. The robot suddenly paused, shuddered, and then came back to life, and steam started to escape rapidly from it's exhaust ports. Ahri's head started throbbing again, and she began to lose consciousness.

"AHRI. JAYCE. TF. VEIGAR. TWITCH. I UNDERSTAND EVERYTHING. I WILL PROTECT MY MASTERS."

Blitzcrank became supercharged, jets of rapid steam pouring out from it's vents, and the robot jerked forward, then started charging at Draven, who was now standing over Jayce and about to stab one of his axes down into the struggling man. Drawing back its fist, Blitzcrank popped Draven with a punch so strong that it sent him shooting out of the store entirely. Rumble drew his mech back, surprised at the sudden show of force, but quickly recovered his composure and activated his equalizer rockets, and fired a salvo of mini-missiles at the robot.

"MANA SHIELD ACTIVATED. BATTERY RUNNING AT 37%."

An energized barrier formed around Blitzcrank, and the missles slammed violently into the shield and exploded, sending bits of debris and shrapnel everywhere. As the smoke cleared, the robot emerged unharmed, his shield still active. Rumble's jaw dropped.

"This can't be! Those missles are one of my most powerful weapons, and it didn't even scratch him!"

Blitzcrank charged forward, then leaped and slammed into Rumble's mech, clinging to its front end. It started punching and ripping at the armor. A low metallic thud rang out, and a piece of the mech's forward armor plating crumpled and tore off the mech, revealing the more vulnerable aluminum plates underneath. Rumble was in complete shock, and he desperately spun his mech around and slammed the front of his mech into the ground in an attempt to get the robot off his mech. Rumble drew the mech's fist back, then slammed it into the robot, this time knocking the robot off and a distance away. The robot flew into one of the aisles, scattering food products everywhere, and landed with a loud CLANK into the floor, but it quickly got up, and started walking towards Rumble. It showed little sign of wear or damage from the struggle.

Rumble cried out in frustration. "How? How did Mundocorp suddenly get so advanced in robotics?"

A shotgun blast rang out towards the back of the store, a several smoke canisters landed onto the floor around. The canisters filled the entire store with black, acrid smoke that made it impossible to see what was happening.

"Rumble, I'm getting my men out of here! We weren't prepared for this, they were ready for us! If you've got any sense, you'll fall back as well!"

There were sounds of men being dragged and metallic clanks of movement, and when the smoke cleared, the Darkplum invaders were no where in sight.

With Rumble gone, the electric harpoons stopped responding, and TF got up painfully and yanked the harpoon off his body. Jayce walked over to help him up.

"What was that? I had no idea our Blitzcrank model was that strong..." Jayce supported TF on his shoulder and helped him walk. TF looked up and fixed his gaze towards the half conscious fox-girl.

"I was disabled, but I was still able to watch the the whole thing. That fox-girl had something to do with it. I saw some kind of magical energy transfer from her hand into the robot, and it suddenly became sentient."

Several warning beeps sounded across the store, and Blitzcrank jerked and then stopped abruptly.

"WARNING. MANA BATTERY CRITICAL. SYSTEM SHUTDOWN INITIATED TO PROTECT INTERNAL MEMORY." The robot's steam dissipated, and it's lights went off and became inactive.

TF looked over at the robot, then to the fox girl, and racked his brain to come up with an explanation. "Jayce...you remember how they briefed us at HQ that the fox-girl had turned into a human by some magical force years ago? I'm guessing that somehow this mysterious power has developed within her over the years, and she is now somehow able to grant sentience to objects that already have a desire to become human themselves. My guess is that all robots have an innate desire to become sentient and more human-like because of how we made them, and she's able to tap this desire with her magic to bring out the hidden potential of those robots."

Jayce looked over at Blitzcrank, who stood there motionless and powered down. "TF, take my teleporter and put the robot back into the hextech hover-truck, and drive back to HQ to have the robot analyzed. I'm going to call in medical and help the fox-girl and the others - if they can be helped, that is."

TF nodded, took the teleporter, and limped over to complete his task. Jayce took out his communicator and dialed in a line for medical. He looked over at the unconscious store employees, taking particular notice of the fox-girl. She had much more resolve and determination than he initially gave her credit for. Ahri was her name, right?

Jayce let out a sigh of relief, then brought his communicator up to his mouth to speak into it. They had somehow driven off Darkplum's annexation attempt, and they were unlikely to try another outright show of aggression like that again for fear of League retaliation, but he wasn't naive - he knew this was only the beginning of a long and brutal corporate war between the two mighty companies over control of Champion's villa.

**Episode Epilogue**

Poppy was dressed in a sexy french maid costume, and sitting bound to a chair with ropes. She stared lustfully at her lover. Across from her, Heimer was dressed in a leather getup, and was sitting inside the cockpit of a mini-replica of a German Panzer battle tank, except that it's main gun was shaped in a rounded phallic-like cylinder with a bulge at it's head.

"Oh Heimy! France is utterly defenseless! How will we ever stand up to the might of Germany's invasion?"

The mini-battle tank lurched forward, and Heimer armed it's phallic-like main-gun at the defenseless poppy.

"Hee hee! Prepare for the invasion of France! Resistance is futile! Main cannon armed and ready to fire!" Heimer commenced the launch sequence, which involved him bucking his hips forward repeatedly in order to activate the pressure sensors that would initiate the main-cannon firing sequence.

The door to Heimer's office opened, and a wheeled robot strolled in, and went up directly to Heimer.

"MASTER. MISSION 111 HAS FAILED. I WILL NOW SHOW A VIDEO REPORT OF THE SCENE AS TAKEN FROM RUMBLE'S COCKPIT CAMERA."

Heimer stopped the main gun launch sequence, shut down his battle tank, and viewed the video quietly. When it ended , the yordle angrily dismissed the robot, jumped out of the tank, and walked over to his executive desk and sat down. He pressed a button to call his secretary.

"Yes, Heimer?"

"Wilma, make a call over to Darkplum Robotics and have them send over Urgot. Tell him it's urgent, we have a new development that may threaten our robotic superiority over Mundocorp."

"Understood Heimer, I will make the call right away."

The com closed, and Heimer leaned back in his chair, contemplating the video he had just seen.

"So her name's Ahri, huh? If I can find a way to extract, isolate, and control her power, it might be just what we need to give our robotic division the power to crush all of our rivals...and take over the institute itself!" Heimer sat there brooding, contemplating at the new developments that had occurred in the complex corporate world of Valoran.

**Episode End. I know this was a long one, and thanks for reading!**


	7. Episode 6

**Episode 6**

"I'm gonna need to get some tools set up from my truck, and then I can finish the remodeling," Renekton said as he walked by the counter. The crocodile tipped his hat at the fox girl, and Ahri reciprocated with a sly wink. He then walked out to his truck parked outside, emblazoned with the lettering: RENEKTON'S TOP QUALITY CONSTRUCTION COMPANY.

Ahri turned back to the counter where an issue of the latest Famitsu Weekly lay open, and twirled a strand of her hair around her finger, staring past Veigar absentmindedly. "So why is he working in construction? He's a melee top bruiser, has a great early game, and doesn't need mana. Plus he's got a great body. I'd figure he'd be booked 24/7 for league matches."

Veigar looked over to make sure Renekton was out of hearing range, then scoffed loudly. "Renekton? That croc is a freakin' idiot. All he does is hog all the top lane experience, then when we're fighting he never protects the carries or the mages and just charges in like he's a tank. He has no idea how to teamfight, and teamfighting is what wins you matches."

"Oh really? I thought it was killing the enemy nexus."

"It is! But you can't get to their nexus if you can't win the teamfights."

Ahri frowned a bit, and closed the magazine she had been pretending to read. "Hmm, sorry Veigy, I think you're wrong about that. Haven't you read Master Yi's new book?"

"Yi? That idiot wrote another book? Really? Don't tell it's about yet another useless strategy that never works."

"Advanced Backdooring Theory: Alternative Strategies and Principles for the Sneaky League Aficionado. He released it only a week ago, and it's already #2 according to the Valoran Times best sellers list." Ahri reached into her bag and took out a flashy purple smartphone. "I actually bought the book - here, lemme show you." She tapped on the screen to bring up some text on the book, then showed it to Veigar.

Veigar stared at Ahri's phone, and narrowed his eyes in suspicion. "Is that a Darkplum XD-5 LeaguePhone?"

"Close, but nope," Ahri replied. "It's an XD-6. They just released it. It's totally amazing! Look at how shiny the text - "

"AHRI! You're using a Darkplum phone...why are you using a phone made by our rival?"

"Relax Veigy! It's not like I went out and bought one. A couple of Darkplum employees were standing outside the street this morning giving it out for free to everyone walking towards our store."

"...And you didn't do anything about it?" Veigar said. "You just decided to go and get a free phone?"

"Veigy, come on...it's not like I could have done anything about it. I wanted to tell them to leave, but I didn't want to start another fight, and they were actually pretty nice to me...and besides, I got you one too!" Ahri looked down and fumbled around her bag a bit, then took out a shiny neon pink XD-6. She beamed a big smile at Veigar and held the phone out to him.

"Oh, god. Like I would even be caught dead holding a Darkplum phone. And what's with the neon pink? Didn't they have another color? Like, darker and more evil?"

"It adds personality! Now when you meteor a litter of baby kittens, the last thing they'll notice before they die is that cool pink smartphone you were holding!"

Veigar sighed, closed his eyes and rubbed his temples. "Why can't I have just one day where nothing goes wrong?" He opened his eyes and took the phone from her hands, and examined it closely. "Well, at the very least, I can take this phone over to TF and have it analyzed by spec-ops. They already have stolen versions of the XD-7 in the lab, but this XD-6 seems to be a revised consumer edition... "

Ahri sat back and grinned at the Yordle holding the pink smartphone. She thought the color looked cute on him. "That's a great idea, Veigy. See? Isn't this better than if I had started another fight with Darkplum by myself and caused more damage to the store?"

Veigar grumbled a few inaudible words, then took the phone and started heading towards his office. Ahri rolled her eyes and turned back to the counter to pick out another magazine to read, but was interrupted by the sound of the double doors sliding open. A large, imposing dog-like creature stepped into the store, and confidently perused his surroundings. He gazed towards one of the aisles, then smoothly turned his head and fixed his unwavering gaze at the fox-girl behind the counter. "My bowels are as empty as the eternal desert land of Shurima. They cry out for a savior to sate their hunger. Does your store carry Kibbles n' Bits?"

Ahri stared at the awe-inspiring creature before her. She didn't know why, but she felt her heart flutter, and the room seemed warmer than before. She felt her throat constrict, but after a short struggle managed to squeak out a response.

"Umm, Kibbles? I think that's on aisle three. No wait - it's in aisle four."

"I thank you for your assistance. I shall one day repay the favor you have given me, so that the world may remain in balance. Now, for grace, I shall go."

Ahri watched the large creature turn to walk towards aisle four. She got up from her counter and started heading towards him. Kibbles were always stored in aisle eight! She just restocked them this morning - how could she have forgotten?

"Umm, sir?"

The creature stopped and turned to face the girl. "Yes?"

"Well, ahh...the kibbles are actually stored in aisle eight. I'm really sorry. It's been a long day...just follow me and I'll lead you to them."

Ahri led the creature down the store towards the pet foods aisle, then went into the hallway between the aisles. She looked around at the random assortment of chew toys and cat chow, then finally spotted the bags of Kibbles on the very top shelf.

"There it is! Kibbles and Bits Xtreme edition. It's on the very top shelf though. We don't get a lot of people coming in to buy pet food. I'll go get the grabber."

Ahri started searching around for the long grabbing stick usually placed at the end of every aisle, but the dog-creature stopped her.

"Lady, have you never seen Nasus, the Curator of the Sands, in an official League Match?"

"Umm, I'm sorry...I don't think I have. Are you really a League Champion? I work in the League also!" Ahri fanned out her nine tails and made sure to display them in a way so that Nasus could notice their full beauty. "The league calls me Ahri, the beautiful and amazing nine-tailed fox!"

"Yes, I have seen you before." Nasus looked at her and nodded slowly. He then looked up at the top shelf where the Kibbles n' Bits Xtreme were stored. "I shall now show you why we do not have need of a grabber."

Nasus let out a low but formidable growl, and Ahri could feel a slight draft of wind start to form inside the store, as well as a strong source of power emanating from within Nasus. As Ahri stared on, the dog creature suddenly grew to almost twice in size, with his head now reaching almost to the ceiling. Strange gusts of a mystical green sand started to swirl around Nasus, causing the aisles to shudder and the assortment of chew toys and lighter articles to scatter, with some crashing loudly onto the floor with a squeek. Nasus, now taller than the top shelf of the aisle, casually reached out and grabbed a package of Kibbles n' Bits. Then, as suddenly as everything had come about, the swirls of sand receded and disappeared, and Nasus shrank back down to his normal, but still formidable size.

Ahri stared at Nasus, her mouth half open in pure amazement. "That was crazy! I wish I could have powers like that!" Ahri remembered her special fox-fire ability, and wanted to show it to Nasus, but she stopped herself. It was just three little blue flames that circled around her and protected her. Nasus would probably laugh at such a stupid little ability.

"Ok well, umm," Ahri finally said. "Lets go back to the register so I can check you out. Err- check your item out, I mean." Ahri drew in her nine tails so that they clumped together to form one bushy tail, and they both walked back to the store lobby. Ahri went behind the front counter, then took up the scanner and scanned the package of Kibbles n' Bits Extreme. The register flashed the number 595.

"So your total today will be 595 ip. Would you like anything else, Nasus?"

"No, that will be it." Nasus handed Ahri his League Card.

Ahri took the card and swiped it on the register console, debiting 595 ip from his account. "So, well - I guess that's it then. Um..thank you for shopping at LoLmart number 77!"

Ahri handed the card back to Nasus, and he nodded in thanks. She watched quietly as he turned and headed towards the double doors. The doors slid open, and Nasus walked up to the doorway. He then stopped, and turned around to look at Ahri.

"You know, I forgot to mention this before, but when you spread out all nine of your tails, I thought it truly one of the most beautiful and amazing sights I had ever seen. I noticed that you tend to keep your tail clumped up so that no one can see it, so I feel truly grateful to be shown such an amazing sight. I travel the world to experience things such as this, and for that, I thank you."

"Oh..." Ahri could feel her face redden and get hotter. "Well, ah..."

"I hope to see you again in one of your League matches. Farewell, Ahri."

"Err..I hope to see you too in a League..." Ahri managed to mumble out her sentence to no one in particular. Nasus had already turned and left the store. The fox girl turned back into her chair, and took her tail in her hands. She stroked the soft furs slowly, and as she thought of her encounter with Nasus, she couldn't help but feel a bit of pride and happiness as she slowly spread her lovely nine tails out before her.

**End Episode 6.**

**Epilogue**

Renekton quickly got out from his truck parked behind the store, and started walking around to the front. He had felt it. **Him. **He knew that power and could smell and taste it from miles away whenever it appeared. He walked hastily through the front doors of the store, then slowly scanned theinterior. Nothing. He looked at Ahri, who had been intently staring at her tail and stroking the furs back and forth.

"Is there something you need, Renekton?" Ahri said, looking up from her little task.

Renekton shook his head. "Nah, It's nothing. I thought I had felt something, but its probably 'cause I'm tired from working all day. Oh - by the way, I'm gonna need to come back tomorrow to finish the job. There's some extra tools I need but they're at my store."

Ahri shrugged. "Alright then, I'll be sure to let Veigy know. See ya tomorrow!"

Renekton headed out and back around the store, then headed into his truck. He didn't start the vehicle. Instead, he sat back, and stared absentmindedly into the sky.

"Nasus..." Renekton said to himself, quietly.


End file.
